THE MASTER. (Wild Card Pick)

the master

“The master welcomes the disciples not because he wants to lead them, but because he has so much to share. Together, they create an energy field that supports each unique individual in finding his or her own light.” – Osho

An intention I have set this new year is to be more mindful of my presence and how I present myself to the world. This is not because I want to be dependent on how I am perceived, but because I want to be aware of my energy and how I am distributing it. I want to show up for myself because—I matter. This allows for me to stand in my power and have quicker access to it when it falters. When we know that we matter, we more readily nurture practices that support this. We beam light that radiates our worth. There is nothing to prove because by showing up for ourselves we already know we matter.

I spent much of my life preparing for what everyone else was going to think of me before I really stopped to think what I was putting out there altogether. I am a singer and I was always a little girl with a very big voice. However, rarely did I share my voice. A big reason why I did not let myself shine was that I codependently concerned myself with not dimming others’ light. I could not share because I also did not know how to receive. We are automatically expressing gratitude (we give thanks) when we share what gifts we have been given. Through gratitude, we open ourselves up to receive more. I was too afraid of the opposition, of someone mirroring their insecurities off of my talent. So, instead, I hid and bottled my gift. Or, I used my preoccupation with others as an excuse to hide and allowed this excuse to trick myself into believing I wasn’t worthy of my gift.

I once dated a guy whose favorite quote loosely articulated something along the lines of—the only way to change something is to leave it the way it is.

I found that to be a bizarre way of looking at things (to his credit, it could have been a language barrier). Despite my judgment that the delivery could be more eloquent and less selfish, I agreed with the root of its message. We can not change people to be the way we want them to be. We must grant people time and space to choose their own paths. We can inspire others by mastering our own path by living out our highest versions, then we inadvertently (not manipulatively) lead by example.

We can not control how people respond to the various parts of ourselves, either. We all know, not everyone is gonna like us. But we can learn to love and accept ourselves enough that as we walk down our blazing paths of glory, our beams of light can inspire and guide the way for others.

Imagine literally pushing someone that is cemented exactly where they are, and you’re still pushing, yet they are going nowhere. Waste of energy, time, and all the above, right? Let others be as you stand in your light.

Today’s Wild Card pick is from the Osho Zen Tarot deck:

 THE MASTER

This card represents being a master of the self and therefore giving back to others by presenting your best self as a teacher for them.

Set an intention to surrender control to that which is outside of you and focus on mastering yourself. How do you present yourself to the world? Show up for you, first. Watch your energy be reflected back to you. Share your gifts like the dance as if no one is watching quote. Share your gifts for the sake of giving, even when it feels like no one cares. By sharing you are expressing gratitude for the abundance in your life, and this is how we open ourselves to receive more. 🙂

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ENOUGH. (Wild Card pick)

ENOUGH. (Wild Card pick)
Chakra Insight Oracle deck
Chakra Insight Oracle deck

Just as I faced the bridge leading me into another year, it so happened that some events near the end of the year led to a projection of an old wound staring profusely back at me. In a moment of desperation and a plea for change, I chose to sit in the uncomfortable feeling of outdated energy and charged emotions that no longer represent who I am, but instead where I came from. I knew the only way out of it was to walk right through, straight into the wound.

It’s amazing how quickly we can actually make it out to the other side when we allow ourselves to feel, understand, and accept the pain. Already I feel I am walking on new ground. My mantra that has set the preface for cliche resolutions—the simple, but powerful notion—I am enough.

What occurred at the end of the year was that I walked away from a burning reality that I had, yet again, settled for less than I am worth. How could this be after all I’ve done to heal myself? The old wound that reared its ugly head was an exhausted one of abandonment. I let somebody back into my life that had already demonstrated their lack of capacity to give love. How convenient—I chose the person that does not have the capacity to give love because clearly, I had not fully acknowledged my own blocks to receiving it.

Before I had initially broken ties, I looked for distractions and diversions outside of me to fill the void in the interim. When I consciously cut everything out to make a change, I found myself alone. And, true to love-addict grappling, I battled grief over a commitment-phobe. There I was suffering over someone unable to give love instead of giving it to myself. I was upset that I even felt pain at all having known this truth.

But there ya have it, an old wound. It wasn’t even about this guy—same story, different face? Fortunately, I had a lingering awareness to be grateful for, so to end the cycle I broke down to break through. I had to forgive myself, for the wound is there to stay. I accept it as part of who I am because I have a choice. I choose to say, enough, to settling.

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.” – Oprah

The more I began to envision something better, knowing I am worthy of it, the lighter I felt and more gracious I felt in forgiving the pain altogether. For-give to- get love, as Iyanla has spoken. Clear out the old through forgiveness to make room for the new. If we are seeking love outside of ourselves, chances are it is because we don’t believe we are enough. Trying to understand the pain can leave us trapped in it. Realizing it is there and accepting it for what it is, something that happened to me a million years ago, I could begin to step out and away from the perpetual experience of it. When we know we are enough and invest in our worth, our vibration will bring us our match. We don’t need to look. By investing in ourselves so that our cup is full, we can begin to let the extraneous surplus pour over into that special someone’s cup—and no, not just the closest available thing.

The Wild Card Pick is from the CHAKRA INSIGHT ORACLE deck:   

Self-Esteem

Ruled by the Solar Plexus Chakra

Set an intention to empower yourself by knowing you are enough. Vote for you, first. Begin healing old wounds through the practice of self-love. Line up with those that reflect your highest version. 

Know that as you focus on yourself, you will draw the right person to you. Believe in their arrival—they are worth the wait because you are worth the wait.