Be Mind-LESS: Guidance for Spiritual Breakthroughs

Be Mind-LESS: Guidance for Spiritual Breakthroughs
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Introduction 

What I want to share with you all is a path I’ve discovered to peace. It is about understanding ourselves as spiritual beings and learning to live from that space. To dismantle our prior way of existing through the power of the mind, we must begin to distinguish the difference of the mind from the voice of the soul. We allow ourselves to stand back from the mind so we can acknowledge its instrumental influence on the totality of our lives, up until this point. From this point on—we have the choice of will to open ourselves up to greater possibilities. How I’ve discovered to experience this is by giving our spirit the keys to be the driver. 

I want to normalize our spiritual selves so that we can integrate it into our everyday reality, without the pressures and failings to live up to perfection. It’s not about being this pure, has-it-all-together nonexistent beingThe way I want to depict spirituality is for those everyday people that work so hard, don’t believe they have time for this, yet still find themselves on their knees pleading for change, believing it’s all on them to resolve. Or, for those that seemingly “have it all,” yet still feel something is profoundly missing. For those struggling to validate themselves and looking everywhere but inside to discover their worth. For those of us that have hit a point in the road where we begin to see that the ego can only give us so much, and so—still we seek… 

None of which I have to offer is new information/concepts or strikingly original. But, what I’ve come to realize is, even with all of the information available and readily accessible, there are still questions being asked. So, then let’s keep having the conversation.

The key to peace and learning to live life without conditions of the mind.

In order to become this, we must first learn to love ourselves so much that nothing outside of us affects this. Now, that’s a tall order. Is it, though? The question is how do we actually learn to love ourselves on this level? There are many techniques and practices people use/do to cultivate a greater relationship with their inner selves, and that’s a beautiful thing. Finding what resonates with you to support this journey is paramount. But, what I want to offer is a fundamental foundation of returning to the source of love that gave us life to keep breeding life. Through our devotion to this force of love, we begin to see changes occur. When we understand ourselves as not only a product of this force but synonymous with it, we are united with its stream of abundance. As we lay back onto this stream, peace can restore as we sit in the truth that all is exactly as it should be. When we are in alignment we are reminded that Mother Nature is our mother—we are her creations and we are all bound to the same force.

In order to be one with conditions outside of ourselves and to live a life not dependent on these, we must release attachments to what we THINK will fill up our cup. We fill up our cup by turning to, not against, the force of love that created us and learn to develop an intimate relationship with it. I don’t brush my teeth once a month and expect to maintain dental hygiene. And, how many times do you brush your teeth a day? I want to reiterate this point because my belief is the shift occurs when we prioritize our spiritual health just as frequently as our physical, emotional, and mental health. We must start to integrate a practice to exercise our spiritual muscles—flex and strengthen them—so that we can recognize its voice over all voices of the mind. Some people need a gym to go to in order to hold themselves accountable for a workout, well imagine the same for a spiritual gym. The static noise that comes from a lifetime of self-sabotaging habits is a lot to silence and disarm. It takes time, practice, and discipline. Not only do we have our own voices to contend with, but those have been plagued by other voices—from our families, genetic codes, communities, cultures, so on and so on. Beliefs and scripts that we’ve lived off of for so long dominate our existences. If we are open and willing to walk a spiritual path, then we can hand over the reins and take a break from figuring it all out. But this means we are also willing to surrender the ego’s desires, attachments, beliefs, dreams to the unknown. We learn to float amongst the divine current trusting she will align us with that which is for the highest good.

Through meditation and prayer, we can start to click into a state of consciousness that allows us to see the divine’s source as an infinite supply of unconditional love always available to us. As we continue on with our daily lives and the world evolves around us—the mind wants to grow strong and take over again as we juggle the combat. But, as we seemingly “lose” spiritual strength, we have prior enlightenment that this treasure trove of love is always there to turn to if we lose our way or believe we’ve lost ground. The treasure trove is our amulet of power to thrust us right back into the present moment. The present moment allows us to see that the treasure trove is even available. It gifts us the worldly reality of the otherworldly. All of the illusions and projections of the mind suddenly lose strength, and the voice of the soul awakens us to our being, existing as a presence of love.

The way I’ve come to see it is that the greatest medicine and discipline to maintain this spiritual agility and strength is indeed through meditation and prayer. I want to offer some practical application for those of us (which are most of us) that make self-sabotaging excuses to keep us held back—where we argue from our own limitations. But, when we call in our creator, limitations are irrelevant because we recognize—it doesn’t have to be all on us. 

This introduction is a synopsis to a larger body of work. 
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Check out the Guidance Booklet and listen to audio version—

Silencing the Noise. (Wild Card pick)

Silencing the Noise. (Wild Card pick)

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Many of us have heard of “The Secret” and the basis for the law of attraction. I’ve never really been sure how I feel about Tony Robbins, but I agree with him when he says that the law of attraction is ‘part of it.’ It’s part of getting what you want in life, but it’s not everything. Obtaining through the law of attraction is more like a symptom of maintaining a high vibration. Clarity and specificity are important, yes. But, I believe what Tony was alluding to in his own way is that there’s more to the upkeep of high vibe than simply thinking happy thoughts.

Self-care, putting ourselves first, being of service, these are all ways to sustain the glow, but vibrations resonating at high frequencies occur effortlessly from silenced noise. This is how we sit into the seat of consciousness.*

We discover our spiritual self and our inner voice—the divine whisper that is our road map from “God.” Through trusting ourselves and in a plan beyond “the self,” we watch the miracle of life unfold with more adventure, more zest. Setting an intention while you are at a high vibration is positive attraction, but it is the art of surrender through objectivity and non-attachment in which we can find peace.

It is the voices, the dialogue in our heads that Michael A. Singer points out so vividly in the first pages of his book, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself,* that interfere with our state of consciousness. They bombard our understanding of the “true self.” He poses questions such as—what is the actual real self? Which one of those voices is the true inner voice?

It doesn’t make any difference what {the voice inside] is saying, you are the one who is aware of it. As long as you think that one thing it’s saying is you, but the other thing it’s saying is not you, you’ve lost your objectivity.” – Michael A. Singer

The objectivity he speaks of, standing back and observing the voices rather than creating them into a hierarchy is how we can begin to develop and move closer to our “intuition.”

When I was in Bali, I felt like I was on this otherworldly ride to understand the necessity of silencing the noise. For one, by simply being away from it, but then to learn to develop self-trust, our relationship with our intuition.

Where I am from in the United States, particularly Los Angeles, a city I called home for quite some time—it’s a rapid pace. There are so many expectancies, projected voices, technologies/communication technologies being spit at us from every angle that it’s difficult to not be plagued by the noise.

Leaning back as Singer suggests, from it, is how we become the spectator, not a willing participant in this falsehood of reality we create with mental chatter. We develop a relationship of trust within ourselves when we can rely on our objectivity. We can begin to understand who we really are, that is—which voice it is.

Today’s Wild Card pick is from Tosha Silver’s Change Me Prayers oracle deck:

INTUITION

Set an intention to transcend the noise of your mind by learning to be a spectator of it. We earn self-trust through the relationship we have with our inner voice, our intuition. We can begin to trust in a higher plan by trusting we are always being guided to that which serves us. Consider how you can give your self more love through self-care to keep your vibration elevated. Be willing to be outrageously open and release expectations. Trust that your relationship with your inner self is a reflection of your relationship with the divine. We are always being guided if we can silence the noise to listen.

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Tosha is author of Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead, a guide to living a life of surrender and trust by putting your faith in the divine’s greater plan. {She designed this deck that I often use to draw a mantra/prayer as part of my daily spiritual practice.}

                                                                         

How Abuse Gifted Me Trust… In Myself: My PTSD Story

How Abuse Gifted Me Trust… In Myself: My PTSD Story

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“You say you’re too damaged, I still say you’ve got the goods.” – from a song I wrote many moons ago

Out of all the things that I have been through, one of the greatest complications to resolve has been the ramifications of abuse throughout my adolescence. I was physically abused and verbally assaulted by masculine rage on a concurrent and regular basis. My experience of the abuse at times felt like torture, was unrelenting, and my space never truly felt safe.

Trust has been profoundly challenging for me to invest in, that of which I have learned must first begin with myself.

Due to my crippled capacity to trust in others, and a sense of self oppressed by an abuser, over time my ability to develop trust in myself became stunted and plagued by static noise and doubt.

It is interesting though the complexities that have come about as a result, the product being the woman I am today. What I’ve become is a woman with a presence of impenetrable strength, which of course, in a society infiltrated by a masculinity crisis, hasn’t gone over so well.

I have attracted great opposition from those that struggle with their own masculinity, or another way of looking at it — one’s repressed/rejected, misunderstood, and/or unacknowledged femininity.

Throughout my twenties, I strived towards a path of healing. I was blessed enough by the grace of divine intervention and my own willingness to change that resources flowed regardless of my external means to begin this process.

Yoga and meditation were definite introductions that changed my life and in many ways saved my life. I discovered that I am not actually held hostage in my body, that I do have control and that my power is always there. I discovered that no one can take my power, but realized out of programmed habit I was throwing it out like expired produce.

It was through the crisis of many unhealthy relationships and my absolute plea to not suffer from the pain of power struggles that I began to see the signs. I didn’t want to hurt anymore so it became unavoidable that I had to dig in and do the work.

It was during a heartbreak from a very damaged Pisces lover, and coincidentally a potent Pisces full moon, that in my typical woo-woo fashion I sought out not a therapist, but my version of such — I wanted to see a healer that cleared chakras… yep. I was ready to wipe the slate clean, but unbeknownst to me, this man had a profound purpose. As agonizing as it was to dive in, he was a gift. He served as the beginning of an awakening. He was a Marine veteran struggling with PTSD; he was also my mirror.

The next day as I was walking down the street, there was a massive sign outside of a crystal shop nearby where I lived that was not usually there. In all its colorful glory stood the flag of chakras promoting sessions with a particular healer. I tend to be like The Fool of the Rider-Waite deck, springing forward, acting on leaps of faith when such moments present themselves. With a chart full of Aries, this generally rules in my favor.

My session with a self-proclaimed clairvoyant doused me in the cold hard reality that I had not so much been in denial about, but rather completely oblivious to. I knew I had been abused as I had shared it prior. I knew it was wrong and that I was in fact violated, but I had no idea the magnitude of wreckage it caused. As a little girl knowing nothing different, essentially it became the only normal I knew. And while living it, I was battered into believing I’d deserved it.

When I first entered into the backroom to proceed, a typical aroma of palo santo engulfed the space. The stillness of the room’s aura rested as rainbow lights (also known as color therapy) swirled above the bed, while a gorgeous array of gongs and singing bowls aligned it. I always look forward to these sessions. My total openness to them is how I’ve been fortunate enough to reap the wanders.

I have worked with countless western healers and now a couple of eastern ones; although, this was one of my earlier experiences. I was anticipating what she would pick up on. I felt sure the foremost would be mention of my brother’s death, or my absent father, or possibly the turbulent codependent relationship with my mother… never did I see coming the yet mentioned.

I will say that I am able and willing to share the account of my abuse; however, for deeply personal reasons I am not ready to share by whom.

“Did you have [****] that was very mean to you?” she delicately asked.

I sat there stunned. An instant surge of tears burst forth like an appropriate tidal wave. Out of all the shitty things in my still very privileged life, I couldn’t believe that’s what she pointed out. Her take on it was that we were bound together in this lifetime due to past life events, but I’ll spare you of that for now.

I went home feeling like the earth beneath me had been shaken. How could I not have seen this before? The light had not only gone off, but it was also about to blind my eyes. What ensued from there was an all-nighter of research on the unique relationship of abuse I experienced. Limited information was available on my specific circumstance, but nonetheless, a turning point of acknowledgment transpired — abuse is abuse. I was a ripe candidate to all the possibilities of aftermath as anyone else that’s survived it. Wait, so I am one of those people? It wasn’t until I accepted that I am that, a survivor of abuse, that I could begin to move towards a healthier future. It was through this discovery that I was able to understand I was also living with my own degree of PTSD. It had been the underlying factor to so many complications in my life. I didn’t know that my usual somatic experience was not normal. I thought the out of control sensations in my physical response to situations were my fault, that it was simply who I am and that I was doomed to be a prisoner to it.

For many years, I attracted lovers that did not physically abuse me, but I was in heavy, emotionally tormented relationships. The real moral is PTSD often controlled my life.

After the eventual breakdown of these relationships and my own chaos looming overhead, I strived to transcend my experiences. I couldn’t control what happened to me, but I could begin to heal the consequences. I chose to kill the script and say, fuck that. I chose to shift from victim to survivor. I began my transition from bondage and everything happening to me, to being wide awake staring into the mirror — recognizing the patterns and the common denominator. This was not an overnight fix, of course. It was an incredibly painful process that took years and years of resolving. Still, till this day there are remnants I have to work through. Scenes, lines, and characters from the old script all like to come out to play every now and again, and it is my work to not get disheartened by this reality. In the past, the discouragement of its existence would send me down a spiral of self-loathing.

I spent years unable to communicate how I actually felt. I had zero sophistication as far as emotional intimacy was concerned. I would panic, cognitively disassociate and shut down. And, I would hate myself for every bit of it.

Almost a decade later, it is bizarre to even recount those memories — from total physical overwhelm to perpetual fears of the rug always being pulled out from under me. By always assuming the worst, I attracted it only to prove itself true.

Now, it’s almost as if I don’t even know that girl anymore. Yet, again, there are still those tiny remainders of the script wanting to come to life on stage once more. But, I harnessed new tools and coping mechanisms that overtime have integrated.

Most of all, my journey was to silence the noise and experience a life of learning to trust myself. Despite being figuratively pummeled into believing all the things that had derailed me before, I began the journey of discovering my light, my power.

Of course, none of this would be possible without also learning to forgive my abuser, and to forgive the masculine rage that permeates throughout my culture and our world. I have had to send love and light to the beautiful, divine feminine energy yearning for reciprocation from us all.

I guess when you think about it, we can be so cruel to our dear Mother Earth. If we can’t respect our own mother, then I guess in a way that sums it up, doesn’t it?

It’s a shame, this reality. We have so far to go on a collective scale. I can only hope my story of forgiveness, resilience, and journey of self-love is emblematic of the new script we can write together.

 

 

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